You know you are about to pop when…

I stole this picture from The Husband’s Instagram. He was checking if his sister was awake.
  1. The cashcard In-Vehicle Unit seems like a mile away from your steering wheel.
  2. Your belly starts to steer the wheel for you.*
  3. You can no longer see the front of your car when you drive up a multi storey carpark.
  4. You pray for big open parking lots because you cannot weave through cars like Christy Cheung. Then again, I think nobody else can lah.
  5. Squatting cubicles with no side handles scare you.
  6. Filthy, wet squatting cubicles with no side handles terrify you so much you mutter “I cannot give birth here. I cannot give birth here” while you pee.
  7. You make your mardder so nervous with the squatter toilet story, she DEMANDS you to bring a whistle along when you go pee. Had to remind her that the handphone is easier and can call The Husband to break into the cubicle much faster than the whistle.
  8. When doing laundry, the detergent dispenser drawer (on a front loader) is a deadly weapon.
  9. When getting dressed, the reflection of your enormous belly shocked you into tears. “Am I going to explode today?”
  10. You have to lasso your underwear to your leg in order to put it on.
  11. After you lasso one leg in, you take 1 more min to lift the other leg through the other hole without tripping over yourself.
  12. You have trouble wiping/scratching/inspecting your ass.
  13. You hoist your belly up with your hands as you walk up 2 miserable steps. This would be fine if you are expecting multiples. Very dramatic sight when there is only 1 tenant in your belly.
  14. You have trouble rolling yourself out of bed.
  15. Crocs sandals are the best thing since Justin Timberlake’s SNL Single Ladies performance. To me at least.
  16. You no longer walk. You waddle.
  17. People think you are taking a slow leisure walk when in reality you are Zumba-ing to the tune of Boom Boom Pow in your head.
  18. The top portion of many of your clothes are always full of bits of food at the end of the day. Sometimes, you find food in your bra too.
  19. You feel the need to scrub the toilets clean. Today. Now. At 3am.
  20. You start to use your toes to pick up stuff you dropped on the floor.
  21. You get really offended when people see you and say things like “WAH! SO BIG AH! You sure only 1 inside?”, “WAH! Must be anytime now ah?” Basically anything that starts with WAH will make me want to throw my shoe at the fella if I could bend that low to get it.
  22. Your butt hurts when you sit anywhere or lie anywhere.
  23. When your child tries to seek solace by running towards you to try bury his face into your belly, he end up bouncing away, holding his nose in pain.
Who knows what really goes on inside?

I’m not complaining. Just sayin’…

*Disclaimer: I don’t let my belly drive me around. Seats can be moved back you know? I’m a very safe driver, just swears a little too much.

Wordless Wednesday: I see FEET!

20 week scan. The halfway mark.

A little late for Wordless Wednesday because I spent a little over 6 hours at the hospital waiting for The Baby to give us a good view of its important bits yesterday. I had to pack my mum and Xan in a cab back to her place after the 4th hour while I continue to wait for my last consultation. It didn’t look like it my day was about to end so soon.

By the time I got home, I was completely exhausted. FIVE attempts in total. I think he/she was in a pretty tight fetal position. Maybe not in the mood for a photography session despite being jabbed and shook violently by the technician (if that’s what you call the ultrasound scanning person). Sigh. Have to wait for next week to do a SIXTH scan to document the heart and sexy bits lah. Oh well. I didn’t really care because I saw the heartbeat and it was strong. That was the most important bit for me 🙂


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The Twenty Questions that were supposed to be answered on Tuesday

Fine, I know it’s not Tuesday anymore but I really wanted to participate in MummyMoo’s Twenty Questions lah.

Here are my answers.

1. Was your pregnancy planned, and how old were you?
Not really planned but neither were we preventing it. I was 30.

2. What were your reaction?
Shocked because… please read Point 3.

3. How did you find out you were pregnant?
I was driving us home one evening in April and we had stopped at a red light, gossiping about what had happened at the office that day. I was talking halfway when I saw in the rear view mirror a car speeding towards the back of our car showing no signs of slowing down. I started to scream and BAM! He “kissed” the back of our car. I stepped out of the car, moved towards the back angrily and started screaming at the driver who turned out to be a 70ish year old man who was also visibly shaken by the accident. I eventually stopped ranting like a mad woman 2 mins later when I realized he couldn’t really see very well either. *guilty face* I was the victim but behaved like a raging mad bully 😛 Luckily The Husband was calm enough to make sure the other driver was ok and not hurt either. After the cops came to take our statements, we took pictures and exchanged information, we drove to the mechanic with our bumper about to fall off. Everyone suggested we go to the A&E to make sure we didn’t suffer from any internal injuries so we went to Tan Tock Seng A&E department to do the usual tests. After giving the nurses my urine sample, we were told to head over to get some x-rays done. I started to panic when we got there because I had a navel ring and I could only get it out with a pair of pliers. It was past midnight, where to find pliers you tell me? So I tried my luck and went to ask the technicians for it and all of them gave me blank stare and went HAR? Pliers?? Then in a typical Taiwan drama fashion, just as I was walking into the radiology room for my scan and hoping to find pliers lying around, the doctor who had attended to me at the beginning ran into the room shouting “STOP STOP STOP! No x-ray! You do already? No need to do ok?” Maybe “shouting” is too dramatic a description. “Raised voice” would be better. SO! He came in, ushered The Husband and I back to the consulting room for more Q&A. He showed me 3 square plastic thingy. He did 3 pregnancy tests just to make sure and all turned up positive. We were very shocked because I was still having what I thought were very light menses. Long story short. WE WERE PREGNANT!

4. Who did you tell first?
My sister-in-laws because I was working for them at the time and was scheduled to leave for New York that month for work. I had to tell them to cancel my tickets immediately.

5. Did you find out the sex?
Yes! I was thrilled to find out it was a boy. I’ve always wanted a little boy.

6. Did you have morning sickness?
Minimal. Only when I brush my teeth in the mornings. Weird.

7.What did you crave?
Nothing in particular but I was completely turned off by the smells of my favourite foods like mushrooms. I lost weight during pregnancy because I didn’t feel like eating.

8. Who / What irritated you the most?
My husband. We quarrelled a lot back then and I packed and unpacked my “run away from home” bag many times and even slept on the sofa equally many times during pregnancy.

9. Did you wish you had a different gender from what you obtained?
No but we did ask the OBGYN to double check during initial ultrasounds for 2nd baby. We are very optimistic folks.

10. How many kilos did you gain during the entire pregnancy?
Too many.

11. Where did you think the baby was conceived?
Somewhere somehow after the kissing and before the showering.

12. Did you have any complications during the pregnancy?
I  had 2 endometriosis cysts (both were more than 6 cm each) removed during my 2nd trimester which was also the night after my traditional wedding dinner. Party first, if not I would be stuck on bed rest for weeks.

13. Where did you give birth?
Aisle 4 in the supermarket! No lah, I’m kidding of course. Thomson Medical Centre.

14. How many hours were you in labour?
I don’t remember active labour took how long but I remember lying around for 32 hours. Lie so long until I started to see weird images forming from the labour room’s floral curtains. I saw papillions, old men fishing by the lake, gold fish, etc. We were warded on Christmas Eve hoping he will pop on Christmas Day but the determined boy held his ground and stuck to the original ETD 26 December 2008.

15. Who watched you give birth?
The Husband.

16. Was it natural, or C-Sect?
Was induced to try for natural delivery, failed. Then assisted with forceps, also failed. My doc had to push the baby back in and then do an emergency C-sect at the end.

17. Did you take medication to ease the pain?
Epidural and laughing gas. It was not funny at all.

18. When was your child born?
26 Dec 2008

19. What is his / her name?

20. How old is he today?
4 going on 16. He is slowly morphing into an emo teenager. Scary.


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