Getting my groove back

Sleeping

Image source: delivery.superstock.com

I stopped blogging about 2 years ago partly because I was working part-time for a game site as a game moderator as well as working for my sisters ad hoc. The bigger reason was that I was feeling tired and uninspired. Besides working, most of my time was spent trying to keep up with laundry chores, cook decent meals and flicking channels in the telly until I pass out in the living room.

Working for a game moderator is nothing short of challenging. Before I was laid off 3 weeks ago, I was clocking weird hours ranging from 11pm to 7am, 5 to 6 days a week for about 16 months. The age range of the players were from about 13 to about 17yo. Boy, the language and conversations they have! Parents, you will be appalled to know what your tweens are talking about these days. Sex! Bullying! Racism! Scamming! Online, they are liars, obnoxious, cruel… the list goes on. We are not just talking about kids from Singapore. They are from all around the world. Then there are the perverts and scammers. Watching. Waiting. It’s an ugly, ugly world out there. After the 2nd week on the job, you can’t help but become numb.

My typical day during the 16 months looked something like this:

11pm to 3am/ 3am to 7am: Work.
3am to 4am: Either eating or watching telly “for a while”.
5am to 7am: Accidentally doze off in the living room with remote in hand.
7.30am to 8.30am: Wakes up in a panic. Gets myself ready to drive husband and son to work and school. We are almost always late. Eek!
10am to 11am: Reach home with brunch. Watch Dr Oz.
12pm to 3pm: Space out/Nap. Never ask me for answers/opinions/money during this time. Answer is usually No.
3pm to 6pm: Cook dinner, do laundry, whatever/space out/nap.
6pm: Leaves to pick up the boys.
8pm or 9pm: Reach home/eat dinner.
9.30pm: Bedtime for the little one. Husband usually takes charge because once my head hits the pillow with my son, I’m dead to the world.
11pm to 3am / 3am to 7am: Work. Cycle continues.

Extremely unproductive and tiring. Not enough sleep, let alone time to blog.

About 2 weeks ago, I chanced upon a group of mummy bloggers. The lovely ladies were very encouraging and very inspiring. They gave me so many ideas I can write about. So I thought, this will be a good time to start writing for myself again. Here I am! Thanks for the jump start, ladies!

Change is good

I got tired of the previous red and black template so I decided to change it last night foolishly thinking it would be easy peasy. Up until 8am, I passed out on the sofa twice from frustration & exhaustion. Not getting the new template was really annoying & I was determined to get it done on the same day.

Right about then, Tech God woke up but even he wasn’t sure what the problem was. Argh!!

Anyway, I got it to work eventually by myself. Proud! Ha! Now with a much prettier look, I am happy. Yay!

New year, new changes

It’s been more than a year since my last post. So many things have happened since and so little time to document it all. My son is now running around, I’ve left my job of 5 years, old friend found and a new job in the works.

I’m beginning to dread meeting old friends. Everyone are moving on to new things, new promotions and progressing to a new stage of their lives whereas I seem to be sliding backwards. I am starting to feel out of touch. Perhaps this is what most SAHM feel at some point.

The pro of staying at home is being able to witness my son’s milestones: taking his first steps, eating his first solids and being there whenever he cries. The con is losing touch with the world I used to know. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t regret the decisions I’ve made. I just wished I can have have the whole cake and wolfed it down heartily.

I’m not keen to pass my child to the hands of strangers in a few more months. I’ll be jealous if they get to see more of my son’s firsts. In order for me to move on, tough decisions must be made. I don’t like it but it must be done.

Let’s hope it’ll be worth it. This is a new year of new changes. Help me stay positive!

Before I forget

I woke up 2 hours ago and couldn’t go back to sleep. Too early to sleep lah…

Boy ah, when you grow up and enter university life, just enjoy it. We won’t pressure you to top your classes, to win Nobel prizes or join peace corps (although it would be nice if you could either one…). We’re also not saying that we’ll be thrilled to bail you out of jail for DUI or be grandparents before we hit 50…

I want you to grow up to be a happy healthy individual who will love life and others around you. Although I have said I value street smarts to book smarts, I also want you to be safe. Do whatever you want, just as both of your Daddy and I did when we were younger. Live without regrets but ALWAYS remember that there are always consequences with every action you take.

You see la! You’re not even born yet and I’m already starting to nag. Cannot help it la. I figure I better tell you now before I forget or turn senile.

I’m looking forward to meeting you soon and tell you everything in person ๐Ÿ™‚