Today is Mummy’s birthday. Let’s just say she’s forever 36. That’s how old she was when she had me. The best thing that had ever happened to her. Mwahahah!
Of the 3 of sisters, I was the naughtiest, the loudest and now the fattest. I set Mummy’s heart racing for all the wrong reasons. I mean come on, when the cane comes flying your way, of course you RUN and run fast! It’s the most logical thing to do mah. I wasn’t going to stay put like my sisters used to when they were my age. Siao!
When my sisters were busy getting As and mugging for exams, I was busy planning what to wear, which club to go and with which group of friends. From when I was about 17 until about 20 years old, I used to club/pub crawl at least 3 times a week, drank a-l-o-t, climbed onto countless bar tops/platforms/stools, broke a few glasses, crashed into many people, crawled home at daybreak and passed out on my bed until it was time to get my ass to school in the morning. Both of my older sisters received scholarships during their undergrad years. Me? Everybody were just glad when I got a passing grade. I wasn’t facing problems at home or anything traumatic. I was just having the time of my life. Mummy and my eldest sister thought I was doomed to become either an ah lian-an unsophisticated Chinese girl or a bar girl- another version of an ah lian but more heong. I was my mum’s biggest worry.
One day after a bad breakup, I decided I hated Singapore and took up my folks’ offer to go pursue an education overseas. I picked Ontario, Canada because I knew no one there and knew nothing about the country except how the flag looked. I was such a brave idiot.
The 27hr flights and 12hr time difference made communication with my family a little challenging. My technophobe mum learnt to email and SMS me because those were the fastest and most convenient way to communicate with me. Despite it all, Mummy and I texted each other almost daily. We traded gossips, recipes, complain about our friends, complain about each other, slammed the phone at each other, the normal stuff lah.
Now that I’m married and have a family on my own, I can relate to my mummy alot better. Yes Mummy, husbands are created to give wives headaches! *sayang Mummy*
Mummy is my best friend, my annoying sister and my life coach. I love you mummy and I hope you will enjoy your birthday today.